06 March, 2009

Watchmen: The mysterious case of the missing blue penis

Moviegoers are advised to save 30 dhs that they might be planning to spend on watching "Watchmen" in the UAE as censorship has now reached a new height of absurdity.



The majority of the movie remains intact and without any obvious cutting of the following:
-A rape scene
-Gratuitous violence
-A man getting his arms cut off in plain view by an angle grinder

However in the last 20 minutes of the film someone has seen fit to cut the movie like a 4 year old on a sugar-rush-- The problem? A giant glowing blue penis of a certain character (who just happens to be a main character); this means that any full-body shots of him are cut (along with any narrative/audio) which in turn leads to a highly confusing last 20 minutes.

And the good question of the hour: Who is it that decides to bother importing and showing a movie in which the main character is going to repeatedly be cut from the final 20 minutes? It's probably the same person/people that decided getting Bruce Almighty was a good idea.
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39 comments:

  1. Rami06 March, 2009 11:29

    Hahahahaha

    I've been looking forward to this movie for a long time.. was all ready to go watch it on Friday.

    Then, a couple of days ago, I remembered John and his disdain for clothes. I had to do a search to see if the director kept that part true to the story.

    So yeah. Guess my friends and I will have to watch the movie Some Other Way (tm) ;)

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  2. Anonymous06 March, 2009 12:11

    Now that you've mentioned the word penis, I think the tickets will be sold out in 2days.

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  3. Anonymous06 March, 2009 12:47

    Good, we don't need more people to catch "the gay" by seeing a giant blue penis.

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  4. Anonymous06 March, 2009 13:14

    i remember when the full monty was released and i made the mistake of watching it in sharjah...it was like going in, eat popcorn and walk out...i was like, where is the movie man? i remember complaining to the manager for not warning the people the movie will be heavily censored but nothing came out of it! i had wasted my money and time. why release such movies when you want to cut them heavily!!!???

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  5. Proud Emirati06 March, 2009 18:34

    This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

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  6. rosh06 March, 2009 18:58

    P Emirati, unless I've completely missed the humour in your comment, do you wake up every morning and work on being plain NASTY to anyone & everyone? Are you completely incapable of patience or a sense of understanding in a debate?

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  7. Em06 March, 2009 20:24

    which is why i wait for a DVD or (God forgive me) a DVD-rip file from abroad. Watching films that you want that obviously will have objectionable bits will be chopped off here - in a very crude fashion. it's like - dude atleast don't make it so obvious!

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  8. Em06 March, 2009 20:25

    oh - or see if they'll be released in DIFF or some international fest which are the only places in the UAE where they are forbidden from chopping anything off!

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  9. Proud Emirati06 March, 2009 21:10

    This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

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  10. samuraisam06 March, 2009 21:20

    proud emirati: Was that a threat?

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  11. Proud Emirati06 March, 2009 21:52

    This comment has been removed by the author.

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  12. Proud Emirati06 March, 2009 21:57

    This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

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  13. Anonymous07 March, 2009 00:00

    A bit off-topic, but I just came back from the theater (Slumdog.. avoided Watchmen as a result of this post). Great movie. Horrible Emirati crowd. At first, I thought the noise and laughter and juvenile behavior was coming from just that.. school kids.

    Unfortunately, they looked to me like full-grown young men. Senior High schoolers or college kids.. or even working men. So, a group of 4 Emiratis managed to ruin the experience of (whatever cinema 10's capacity is).

    Thank you very much. You just proved what a lot of expats assumed.

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  14. Anonymous07 March, 2009 00:59

    This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

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  15. rosh07 March, 2009 01:33

    ABIT, curious, did you watch the movie? The movie has been generating generous amounts of hype and excitement, at least in North America. Quite honestly, I’ve been dreading the movie, absolutely convinced there was no way a film could come even close to doing it justice.

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  16. Anonymous07 March, 2009 11:51

    This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

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  17. Dubai Jazz07 March, 2009 13:10

    This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

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  18. Lirun08 March, 2009 03:06

    This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

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  19. Anonymous08 March, 2009 09:53

    This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

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  20. Anonymous08 March, 2009 09:56

    This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

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  21. Em08 March, 2009 11:44

    This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

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  22. Anonymous08 March, 2009 14:51

    And the Express has a full page competition on the back page to win 4 tickets for the FAMILY to see the movie. I'd asked my 10 year old boy to fill in the entry, then read about the movie here and in the Australian later. Oh wouldn't my wife been happy with me.

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  23. Anonymous08 March, 2009 16:51

    This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

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  24. Anonymous08 March, 2009 19:31

    This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

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  25. Anonymous08 March, 2009 21:36

    Besides I think the guy who made this film is an overated Hollywood hack anyway so I'll just wait for a dvd rip to become available and download it.

    Wow. 1st time Ive ever agreed with you. I hope it's the last.

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  26. Anonymous09 March, 2009 05:16

    Not surprised they are censoring the 'blue penis' here. I don't see the logic of complaining since the UAE has certain cultural values...

    Re. the movie itself, I found this review by a Dubai-based film reviewer to be quite perceptive.

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  27. ali90009 March, 2009 07:31

    its why STILL piracy exists

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  28. bwana_daoudi09 March, 2009 10:22

    yeah, the censorship made movie confusing.

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  29. Anonymous09 March, 2009 15:25

    anybody heard of youtube might get blocked ?

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  30. samuraisam09 March, 2009 15:57

    Dubai Jazz: Refrain from making comments like that in the future if you want your comments to stay on here.

    everyone else: stfu

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  31. Proud Emirati09 March, 2009 16:05

    I think samuraisam should refine from posting topics about "Penis" because it falls under prohibited content categories of the UAE's Internet Access Management Policy.

    Thank you very much.

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  32. samuraisam09 March, 2009 16:08

    proud emirati: Nice effort.

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  33. Dubai Jazz09 March, 2009 16:58

    hahaha… bloody ironic isn’t it? the same individual complaining about censorship of penis has savagely censored the comments of this post for things far less offensive.….

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  34. Em09 March, 2009 19:40

    the news is its blocked in bangladesh due to a politically aggravating clip - or something like that.

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  35. Anonymous10 March, 2009 17:32

    Trying to follow the thread of comments on this post is like hmmm, let me think. Oh yeh, try to follow a movie butchered by a censoring maniac. What's going on? Is there somewhere I can go to pick up all of the removed bits and put them back together to read and make my mind up for myself? I promise to be a GROWNUP about it.

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  36. Lirun10 March, 2009 21:15

    the human body isnt offensive.. its nature/made by god depending what you believe.. either way how can one take offence.. is nature/the work of god offensive?

    should we censor the genetalia of animals as well?

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  37. aslihan11 March, 2009 19:58

    yep! you are soooo right! you make us very relaxed. we are not the only ones who gets angry! who confused with the film!

    thank you buddy =)

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  38. Dubai Jazz20 March, 2009 23:51

    I did?

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  39. samuraisam21 March, 2009 02:15

    dubai jazz:
    "Posted by DUBAI JAZZ to UAE community blog at 07 March, 2009 13:10
    Sam, i can't help but ask: are you into penis?!!"

    ReplyDelete

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