23 March, 2010

DM Dictionary and Thesaurus

'The National' newspaper today reports that the ‘ban’ on alcohol being used in the preparation of food issued by Dubai Municipality was not really a ban at all. It only sounded like one but it wasn't green with blue stripes. There you go - blink and you miss the difference.
The confusion has now been cleared and there stands nothing in the way of expats getting sozzled on Coq au Vin as long as the restaurant menu clearly identifies the evaporated previous alcoholic content of the dishes in question. I think this is a great victory for mankind and its long lost bastard sibling, common sense, in the UAE.

But the episode exemplifies the serious ongoing issues of miscommunication between government and (expat) population. It appears that the official DM translators are still using the now out-of-print but still infamous edition of ‘English as Forth Langique” (Ed. Ghuanghzou Copying and Statenary Supply’s) which could be seen being illegally sold at the fleamarket in Safa park in May 2003.

The need of the hour is thus a clear and concise ‘DM Dictionary and Thesaurus’ in the vein of the Oxford or Merriam Webster editions.

I am more than happy to assist DM in this glorious venture and propose a few entries to begin with:

DM Dictionary and Thesaurus

containing alcohol – big revenue generating substances for hotel owner

circular – leaked joke email from DM copy room attendant to his uncle’s brother in Um Al Quain / to be ignored until further clarification

clearly stated – see under ‘Heidegger’

cooking of food – making of menu cards

prohibited – allowed unless prohibited by un-enforced previously retracted bans

strictly – to be deported after the last sentence

Please feel free to add under the comment section.


Dubai Jazz said...


Kyle said...

Does this mean that the Turbot & Haddock would no longer be marinated with alcohol and that the 'May contain alcohol' line would be blacked out from menus at high-end restaurants?

unJane said...

Seriously. Your writing is the best. Take a bow

Post a Comment

NOTE: By making a post/comment on this blog you agree that you are solely responsible for its content and that you are up to date on the laws of the country you are posting from and that your post/comment abides by them.

To read the rules click here

If you would like to post content on this blog click here