Worst. Commercial. Ever.

‘Dingdong’
Door creaking.
Woman’s voice: “Ahh, you must be the pizza delivery man. Let me get my wallet.”
Man’s voice: “Actually I’m here to deliver your AXA insurance courtesy car.”

This has to be one of the worst radio commercials ever. Ever. I don’t listen to radio much, and this commercial reminded me why. It’s not just unwitty and unprofessionally voiced-over by obnoxious dilettantes. No, the premise, if you can call it one, is mind bogglingly stupid in its complete and utter improbability.

I imagine the copywriter at work, racking his puny little brain for a plot (assuming the guys in Media City actually use plots):
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You ordered pizza. The door bell rings. You open. Outside, a man in some sort of uniform. Let’s assume this is the pizza guy!! Harhar, but it’s really the car guy!! Funny twist, that!

Dammit, what about the pizza. Y’know, guy with imbecile smile holding a flat soggy carton in your face, grunting. Pizza guy with pizza. But it’s the car guy, he’s holding no pizza. What to do?Never mind, he could have lost the pizza, right?

Whoopsy, deadline’s here. Cut. Let’s flow with it. Job’s a goodn, off to Scarlett's for drinks!
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The whole ‘skit’ hinges on the woman’s wrongful assumption. But that could only work if the man was at least holding a pizza carton. Or the woman was blind, in which case she wouldn’t need a car, not even for free. Without pizza, there’s not a chance in a million that The Most Stupid **** On Earth could mistake anyone for a pizza guy. So it’s not just any old assumption. It’s assuming that a totally unrealistic assumption can be made to work as radio commercial if you just try hard enough to ignore intelligence.

As my old risk management professor used to say: to ASSUME is to make an ‘ASS’ out of ‘U’ and ‘ME’.

In this case Mr. Copywriter in Dubai just makes an arse out of himself and his entire “profession” and insults our intellect.