18 June, 2009

Bash-a-builder

Fellow blogger and Inginirr Dubai Jazz writes with barely concealed glee about building contractors in Bahrain protesting the new rule allowing workers to change sponsors (employers) freely. Builder Nick the Prick responds:

How original. One day it’s Dubai bashing, the next it’s contractor bashing. If I were English I’d actually enjoy all that spanking but I’m not (English).

I tell you all what. It's a f***ing stupid idea, this free labour thing and I hope it never comes to Dubai.


It's only going to hurt the workers. They'll be confused with all this freedom. You see, they are not used to this. Back home, as I remind them every so often, they are not allowed to even cross the shadow of a higher caste villager. Here, they can run around freely on the building sites, crossing their shadows as much as they like. And there’s lots of shadows because I let them always out in the sun! From their benchmark of absolute disenfranchisement this represents almost a 100% forward projected improvement on my progress chart. And we as company stakeholders are proud of this achievement. Even the guy with the red flag on his stake.

I even shook hands with one of them, once. The man smiled like he’d won a million dollars. I had to wash my hand afterwards but I did it discreetly, with Johnson’s Antibacterial Handwash. I don’t want to offend anyone’s feelings after all.

I'd actually think it's a good idea to shackle our labourers together like chain gangs with one end of the chain tied to the Tata coach. That way they don't get lost in the Dubai concrete jungle. You know, they are simple souls fresh down from the coconut trees. We are responsible for their welfare after all, but how are we supposed to do that if they nillywilly jump employers for a lousy 7 Dirhams more per month? What has the world come to when employee loyalty goes down the drain for 7 Dirhams?! And we haven’t even built that drain yet in their labour camp.

Anyone ever considers our feelings as builders? Huh? HUH?

There, I got myself an idea. We’ll just deduct the 7 Dirhams from their pay in advance in case they jump ship.
That’ll teach them ingrate, smiling, shadow crossing, employer jumping ba$*&%$***ds.


*SATIRE ALERT*SATIRE ALERT*SATIRE ALERT*

9 comments:

rupertbumfrey said...

"Even the guy with the red flag on his stake."

You mean your guys get to own a stake?

Shameless pandering to those "darker" critiques, time to rein in this free-wheeling liberalism!

rosh said...

lol the 'prick's' back :)

the real nick said...

Mr.Bum free, he doesn't actually own the stake, but he gets to hold it.

Mita said...

Personally I like the "Satire Alert" at the bottom of the blog!

amazingsusan said...

Nice piece, but Chris Saul's bit on Dubai bashing still tops the satirical heap. http://tinyurl.com/cwc8ky

Dubai Jazz said...

Nice piece Herr Nick, you're the best contracting satirist I know of!

Lirun said...

:)

Abu Dhabi Blogger said...

Quality satire!

BuJassem said...

What does Satire mean?

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