06 March, 2009

Watchmen: The mysterious case of the missing blue penis

Moviegoers are advised to save 30 dhs that they might be planning to spend on watching "Watchmen" in the UAE as censorship has now reached a new height of absurdity.



The majority of the movie remains intact and without any obvious cutting of the following:
-A rape scene
-Gratuitous violence
-A man getting his arms cut off in plain view by an angle grinder

However in the last 20 minutes of the film someone has seen fit to cut the movie like a 4 year old on a sugar-rush-- The problem? A giant glowing blue penis of a certain character (who just happens to be a main character); this means that any full-body shots of him are cut (along with any narrative/audio) which in turn leads to a highly confusing last 20 minutes.

And the good question of the hour: Who is it that decides to bother importing and showing a movie in which the main character is going to repeatedly be cut from the final 20 minutes? It's probably the same person/people that decided getting Bruce Almighty was a good idea.

42 comments:

Rami said...

Hahahahaha

I've been looking forward to this movie for a long time.. was all ready to go watch it on Friday.

Then, a couple of days ago, I remembered John and his disdain for clothes. I had to do a search to see if the director kept that part true to the story.

So yeah. Guess my friends and I will have to watch the movie Some Other Way (tm) ;)

Anonymous said...

Now that you've mentioned the word penis, I think the tickets will be sold out in 2days.

Anonymous said...

Good, we don't need more people to catch "the gay" by seeing a giant blue penis.

Anonymous said...

i remember when the full monty was released and i made the mistake of watching it in sharjah...it was like going in, eat popcorn and walk out...i was like, where is the movie man? i remember complaining to the manager for not warning the people the movie will be heavily censored but nothing came out of it! i had wasted my money and time. why release such movies when you want to cut them heavily!!!???

Proud Emirati said...
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rosh said...

P Emirati, unless I've completely missed the humour in your comment, do you wake up every morning and work on being plain NASTY to anyone & everyone? Are you completely incapable of patience or a sense of understanding in a debate?

Media Junkie said...

which is why i wait for a DVD or (God forgive me) a DVD-rip file from abroad. Watching films that you want that obviously will have objectionable bits will be chopped off here - in a very crude fashion. it's like - dude atleast don't make it so obvious!

Media Junkie said...

oh - or see if they'll be released in DIFF or some international fest which are the only places in the UAE where they are forbidden from chopping anything off!

Proud Emirati said...
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samuraisam said...

proud emirati: Was that a threat?

Proud Emirati said...
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Proud Emirati said...
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Anonymous said...

A bit off-topic, but I just came back from the theater (Slumdog.. avoided Watchmen as a result of this post). Great movie. Horrible Emirati crowd. At first, I thought the noise and laughter and juvenile behavior was coming from just that.. school kids.

Unfortunately, they looked to me like full-grown young men. Senior High schoolers or college kids.. or even working men. So, a group of 4 Emiratis managed to ruin the experience of (whatever cinema 10's capacity is).

Thank you very much. You just proved what a lot of expats assumed.

A Blessing in Tragedy said...
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rosh said...

ABIT, curious, did you watch the movie? The movie has been generating generous amounts of hype and excitement, at least in North America. Quite honestly, I’ve been dreading the movie, absolutely convinced there was no way a film could come even close to doing it justice.

A Blessing in Tragedy said...
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DUBAI JAZZ said...
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Lirun said...
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Ali said...
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fornls said...
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Media Junkie said...
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Bush Mechanic said...

And the Express has a full page competition on the back page to win 4 tickets for the FAMILY to see the movie. I'd asked my 10 year old boy to fill in the entry, then read about the movie here and in the Australian later. Oh wouldn't my wife been happy with me.

Anonymous said...
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Anonymous said...
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A Blessing in Tragedy said...

Besides I think the guy who made this film is an overated Hollywood hack anyway so I'll just wait for a dvd rip to become available and download it.

Wow. 1st time Ive ever agreed with you. I hope it's the last.

Anonymous said...

Not surprised they are censoring the 'blue penis' here. I don't see the logic of complaining since the UAE has certain cultural values...

Re. the movie itself, I found this review by a Dubai-based film reviewer to be quite perceptive.

ali900 said...

its why STILL piracy exists

bwana_daoudi said...

yeah, the censorship made movie confusing.

Anonymous said...

anybody heard of youtube might get blocked ?

samuraisam said...

Dubai Jazz: Refrain from making comments like that in the future if you want your comments to stay on here.

everyone else: stfu

Proud Emirati said...

I think samuraisam should refine from posting topics about "Penis" because it falls under prohibited content categories of the UAE's Internet Access Management Policy.

Thank you very much.

samuraisam said...

fornls: What an insightful comment, all the more insightful because you're a SEO peddling idiot. Fuck off.

samuraisam said...

proud emirati: Nice effort.

DUBAI JAZZ said...

hahaha… bloody ironic isn’t it? the same individual complaining about censorship of penis has savagely censored the comments of this post for things far less offensive.….

Media Junkie said...

the news is its blocked in bangladesh due to a politically aggravating clip - or something like that.

Anonymous said...

politically aggravating blue penis?

unJane said...

Trying to follow the thread of comments on this post is like hmmm, let me think. Oh yeh, try to follow a movie butchered by a censoring maniac. What's going on? Is there somewhere I can go to pick up all of the removed bits and put them back together to read and make my mind up for myself? I promise to be a GROWNUP about it.

Lirun said...

the human body isnt offensive.. its nature/made by god depending what you believe.. either way how can one take offence.. is nature/the work of god offensive?

should we censor the genetalia of animals as well?

aslihan said...

yep! you are soooo right! you make us very relaxed. we are not the only ones who gets angry! who confused with the film!

thank you buddy =)

samuraisam said...

dubai jazz: You do remember what you wrote correct? You asked if I like penis.

DUBAI JAZZ said...

I did?

samuraisam said...

dubai jazz:
"Posted by DUBAI JAZZ to UAE community blog at 07 March, 2009 13:10
Sam, i can't help but ask: are you into penis?!!"

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