13 October, 2007

ATMs, Chaos, and my Granny

I don't like to write about current news and events. These things are important to know, but we cannot change most of the things we dislike in the near future. We have to accept them, work with them, raise our voices, and wait. But there are topics and issues that everyone reading this blog can deal with as an individual everyday. There are things we can do to improve life, with very little effort. And this Daily Volition can can cause a chain reaction if we do it right. Let's start with the situation involving: ATM Spackers.

A spacker is a spastic person, and in this case it is referring to a person who cannot manage to interface with an ATM- A machine designed for the lowest common user.

Everyday I notice people at ATMs. People act funny with their confidential cards and passwords. However, this city is full of people who cannot withdrawal money in under 60 seconds. I am not referring to those making deposits. I am talking about the people
who keep removing and reinserting their cards, miss typing their PIN numbers, and simply do not read the screen when it asks them questions.

If you cannot withdrawal money in 60 seconds or less, then you are an ATM Spacker, and you need to admit it. You need to start working on it because you are causing chaos on a city wide level. Let me explain how this happens and what you can do to fix it.

Scenario: ATM Spacker goes to the ATM and there are 3 people behind them. They waste 3 or 4 minutes on the only machine in a 5 minute drive. As time goes on the line grows to 6 people. The 5th person in line is late for another pointless meeting at a coffee shop 30 minutes away.


The 5th person is now in their car and feeling late and frustrated. Not only that, they are filled with hate for the ATM Spacker. Visions or confrontation passing before them so fast they cannot visually process the road.

As they rush to their meeting with all this anger and anxiety they stop caring about road safety and manners. They justify all their actions off of this single event. And while they are driving this dark path, they stop paying attention to things like pedestrian crossings. Before you know it they slam into a shopping cart(trolley) being pushed by a little old lady and her housemaid.

Why? All because of the ATM Spacker. So ATM Spackers what can you do to prevent such events?

First, admit you have a problem. Second, go to some ATMs in places where there are not many people,or where there are many ATMs, and practice. And don't just go to your bank's ATM! Try out a few. Read. Learn. Evolve. Don't fall into a category of user that statistically has an IQ score of less than 50.

And if you are too old to care, make some one get money for you. My grandmother can't use ATMs or gas pumps at the self-serve(that means pumping your own gas). So she doesn't waste anyone's time. She just calls me when I am around to go do it for her. And if not me, then someone else she knows. She knows if she hits the road she will cause chaos.

I hope this has been helpful an insightful. The first step to recovery is to admit you have a problem. ATM Spackers, you know who you are.

D. Blogger


Dildo said...

Dude, WTF?

Anonymous said...

Very poor planners; the guys with appointment. And 30 mns cannot get anyone anywhere in Dubai traffic.
They are better off standing it the queue than cursing in the river of traffic.

It is better to be careful at the ATM, check things twice before you leave.

Dubai Blogger said...

WTF? What do you mean? Think about it. All the little annoy things people could prevent but don't. Those things matter. And next time you are out, notice the ATM users. I hope, you are not an ATM Spacker. How long does it take you to get 300 AED from a machine you have never used before? Chaos theory. It is real.

Dildo said...

Nope, not an ATM Spacker. I don't use ATMs at all. and I don't go to shady places that only take cash.

my WTF was about your little petty annoyance. How does taking out cash from an ATM annoying and how does it matter? Are you late to save the world or something? You're still stuck in traffic for the same amount of time. And if things like that *really* bother you, I'd hate to see your reaction to the 'bigger things' in life that really matter.

Anonymous said...

That was one thing missing in the tallest, biggest & etc...est

A "Don Quixote" and one who is really convinced of his beliefs ( where have we heard that before?)

Anyway enjoy chasing the windmill!
Perhaps they will oblige you with the biggest one in the world!

Anonymous said...

Is 'spacker' an acceptable phrase to use these days?

Maybe among 13 year olds who find mocking the disabled funny, but in normal society?

Nadim said...

Right, because everyone should have intrinsic knowledge of ATM machines, and other electronic devices. Grow a pair, and learn to schedule your appointments accordingly.

Anonymous said...

...and use "withdrawal" properly in a sentence!@

10000fists_in_ur_ass said...

I know fokers like u, u Q up everyday to withdraw a 100 dhs and screw up. thats how u can write abut this bulllllshit about ppl who are slow. quit the paperboy business and get a real job and withdraw 10000 a month AND STAY AWAY FROM THE PPL WHO GENUINELY WANT CASH AND THAT TOO MORE THAN UR PRECIOUS 100 BUX.

secretdubai said...

I know exactly what you mean. Some people appear to be trying to hack into the Central Bank or something, the amount of time they take. It's so irritating and inconsiderate when there is a queue.

Withdrawing a small amount of cash should take a few seconds, no more. People wanting to do lengthier or more complicated transactions should go at quieter times or get a clue about internet banking.

Anonymous said...

nobody thought about the fact that some people have a very limited knowledge of english or/and of letters altogether.

Really too bad, that not everybody had access to proper schooling.

Some countries not too far from UAE, did not have ATMs until recently.

small m said...

As encouraged by the Ministry of Labour, more companies are beginning to pay employees' (labourers') salaries into Bank accounts which they open for them. After that, it is up to the employee (labourer) to withdraw cash as and when he needs it.

This country hosts people of 188 nationalities, and not all (especially labourers) read or write either English or Arabic. However, for practical reasons, these are the only two available language choices on ATM machines...

Dubai Blogger and SD: is the picture becoming clear or do I need to go into more detail?

From papua with love said...


ammaro.com said...

I can withdraw cash in 13 seconds.

who can beat my record?

Grumpy Goat said...

I note that 'dildo' doesn't '...go to shady places that only take cash.'

That would be petrol stations, then.

small m said...


Bekos dey don spik pidgin as of yet, sapos yu no wat ah meen...

yer orta come outta dere wid puffik nolij ah teknoliji sapos yu wanna wok long dese emarats...but dey'll still kriaout wen dey lookim grass skirts...

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