new religion

Any woman who is also a mother will tell you, that grocery shopping (esp @ C4) is like an event at the Olympics.
Therefore when you finally make it to the payment counter and see your things smoothly rolling down the belt; you know the distance to the plastic bag and home is not far.
But then suddenly an item is scanned and it does not create the correct beep. (btw if a "beep" is used to delete out every swear word - then how often does that machine swear?).
The cashier looks at you in that almost challenging way, as if to say, "what are you going to do now lady? You know will have to leave it behind, as no one will get the code, and if you insist, and I call the supervisor you know that could take a looooong time".
So you do the mental math and calculate where else you can buy it, how much more it will cost and so much more of your time will be wasted .
Then just as you are about to manoeuver your trolley to the exit, which is somehow functioning like a cycle rickshaw(ie on 3 wheels). Right then from your peripheral vision you see "IT" coming.
The ZOMBIES armed with their cheap Biro and clipboard.
You try to escape but all in vain.
"Hello Madam. Im conducting a survey on credit cards", IT says to you.
You try to gaze into the $ shaped pupils but see no sign of life.
Heres what I said today," I am sorry I cannot help you, my religion does not permit me to utilise credit cards. I am a CREMOSA'S WITNESS, and wives number 3 and 5 are not allowed credit cards. I am wife number 3." Make some cracked up greeting and WALK AWAY.
Do not LOOK BACK.
Welcome to the suburban housewife's repartee.